No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
