She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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