end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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