I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
