maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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