He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
