I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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