Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You made out with two different species that night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
