i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
This is classic penis vs brain.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
