you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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