actually, I'm a sock model
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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