Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
