I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
