Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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