Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
