I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I intend to get homeless drunk
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
