Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
