I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
