His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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