So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
