oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There r osticjed everywhere
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
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