speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
