When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
