is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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