I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
