not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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