the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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