What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
