We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
