I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
