I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
