The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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