this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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