Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
