so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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