apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
