I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
