I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
