Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
