i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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