Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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