Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
