Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize