Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Randomize
