DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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