I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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