the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
