i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
