yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
