fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
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