Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
