i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
