Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize