We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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