a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
