We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize