I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize