So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
