nut hugger
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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