never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
