The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize