NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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