I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
