Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
