dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
