You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize