dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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