I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
