My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize