Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
