they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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