hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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